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.M6 06 
1913 
Copy 1 



THE 

OPINION 
SHOP 



OWSLEY 



f' 



II II 






'l"^' ill 



THE OPINION SHOP 




HILDRIC DAVENPORT OWSLEY 



THE 

OPINION SHOP 



BY 

HILDRIC DAVENPORT OWSLEY 



WITH SUNDRY DECORATIONS 

3Y 

PENRHYN STANLAWS 



NEW YORK 
BARSE & HOPKINS 

PUBLISHERS 



75 3^M 



\1 



3 



Copyright, 1913, bt 
BARSE & HOPKINS 



©CI.A347690 



Hop and skip to Fancy's Fiddle, 
Hands across and down the middle. 
Life's about the only riddle 
That we shrink from giving up. 

Sir William Gilbert. 



THE OPINION SHOP 

Honour: — That quality which prompts 
a man to revenge attacks on his own 
women — and fails to restrain him from 
making attacks on other men's women. 

Why expect others to achieve good- 
ness when we ourselves can only attempt 
it? 

Had we a realization of our own ca- 
pacity for evil, we would have but sym- 
pathy for every frailty possible to hu- 
manity. 

Only those women within the confines 
of conventionality have freedom. 

The Great American Work of Fic- 
tion: — ''Who's Who in America." 
[9] 



The Opinion Shop 



A man marries a domestic woman — 
and is pained by her social limitations. 
He bestows himself upon a coquette — 
and is distressed by her flirtatious pro- 
pensities. He takes to himself a blue- 
stocking — and is saddened by her inabil- 
ity to cook. Pre-nuptial attractions are 
post-nuptial distractions. 

Talkers sow, listeners reap. 

Fortune: — A dilatory deity — after we 
are toothless she gives us nuts. 

Faith and Love are seven-league boots 
that hurry us on to Achievement. 

The prize candidates for what is 
piously designated the Holy State of 
Matrimony are snapped up by the rakes 
of both genders — they know the opposite 
sex. 

[10] 



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Every human is encumbered with a 
load of vanity sufficient to crush the life 
out of a mastodon. 

Pegasus eludes most of us, but there is 
one steed that can't side-step us — the un- 
dertaker's horse. 

Don't look to butterflies for honey. 

Among demoralizing teachings the 
eye-for-an-eye theory of life is the most 
culpable — to it we are indebted for hu- 
manity's ignoblest conduct. 

Everybody loves more than anybody 
else. 

A real gratification must be very de- 
licious and very satisfying, yet it must 
leave one hungry. 

[II] 



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Idyllic Garden of Eden! No neigh- 
bours to hoodwink; no friends to eclipse; 
no ''in-laws" to evade; no scandal to 
spread; no affinities! Picture the deadly 
ennui! Do you blame Eve? 

Sincerity is never admitted to life's 
dress-circle. 

Strange it is that the more a woman 
loves a man the more she resents a sim- 
ilar tendency on the part of any other 
woman! 

When jealousy flies in justice flies out. 

The Ideal Husband: — The chimerical 
defrayer signing cheques for the House- 
hold Across the Way. 

To refrain from doing Is often a 
greater task than to do. 

[12] 







ONLY THOSE WOMEN WITHIN THE CONFINES OF 
CONVENTIONALITY HAVE FREEDOM 



The Opinion Shop 



Is there any altruism at all in the 
world? One forgives one's enemies for 
one's own sake — hate and resentment are 
so very unbecoming. 

The Modern Courts of Love: — The 
divorce courts. 

Every man seeks his ideal woman, but 
heaven only knows when he finds her — 
he never does. 

The most baffling of man's tormentors 
are his desires. Who can tell where they 
come from ? 

Eve ate the apple because she read in 
the correspondence column that all fruit 
juices are good for the complexion. 

Give away your secret, and with it goes 
your freedom. 

[13] 



The Opinion Shop 



More often by his choice of lies than 
by truth a man reveals himself. 

What a fine large contempt for Society 
is born of an unsuccessful pursuit of it! 

Happiness is not meted out to the sel- 
fish ones who pursue it as a chief end; it 
is lavishly given to those who work to 
give it to others. 

Destiny: — A perverse stepmother who 
stuffs her fat children and starves her 
lean ones. 

Though you can satisfactorily explain 
yourself to yourself, it does not necessa- 
rily follow that you can to anyone else. 



A Bachelor: — The pet of many wom- 



en. 



A Husband: — The plague of one. 
[14] 



The Opinion Shop 



All things are within the grasp of the 
man of purpose. 

A fool's only teacher arrives too late. 
Her name is Consequences. 

All the saints have uttered beautiful 
platitudes on matrimony. It would be 
more entertaining to hear what Mephisto 
has to say — he has so often been a third 
party in the Holy State. 

It Is folly to resent subsequent sus- 
picion in an individual who has once 
caught you red-handed. 

The World's Unhappiest Citizens: — 
The unoccupied. 

Why do thorns outnumber roses? 

The only beings to whom we are truly 
related are our counterparts. Those 

[15] 



The Opinion Shop 



whom God hath put asunder cannot be 
joined together by family ties of blood, 
nor by legal ones of marriage. 

Who chases two butterflies catches 
neither. 

All men have follies. Those of the 
wise man are known only to himself; 
those of the fool to all but himself. 

The one certain slayer of love is all- 
destructive time. 

The key to the head is speech. The 
key to the heart is action. 

Things of which too much is not 
enough — money and love. 

Success is awarded to those who have 
a definite systematized scheme of work. 
Failure is accorded to those who seek 
they know not what. 
[i6] 



The Opinion Shop 



One half our time we spend in antici- 
pation — the other in regret. 

Latter-day taste runs to amour sou flee 
rather than to the pot-luck rechauffee of 
matrimony. 

Verily this is the day of rapid transit 
along amatory lines! The age is ram- 
pant for Love, Love, Love! There is 
never a waif in a breadline as cock-eyed 
for the whole wheat as are the passion- 
hungered for sentimental sop. 

When we have outlived life we all 
know how to live. 

Courtship: — The exciting curtain- 
raiser. 

Wedlock: — The exhausting play. 
[17] 



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Since the ancient establishment of the 
useful precedent, every Adam has faith- 
fully availed himself of an Eve upon 
whom to hang the blame. 

Fine books, though silent, are eloquent 
with intellectual activity; though inani- 
mate, they radiate spiritual force. 

Matrimony is really very precarious — 
all women do not live to become widows. 

Sympathy: — Pity for others — always 
evoked by an appeal from our own past. 

Love is the oasis in the Sahara of Life. 
Hand-in-hand two pilgrims set out on 
the great journey, but as they approach 
their Mecca retreats — in just such meas- 
ure as they hasten their Paradise recedes. 

Love is Life's most beautiful optical 
illusion — its most witching chimera 1 

[i8] 



.^% 







LZLq. 



YOUTH COMES ONLY ONCE— TO A WOMAN 



The Opinion Shop 



Experience: — The sum total of our 
follies. 

By the bewilderment of choosing from 
multifarious things of no value rich peo- 
ple overlook the real treasures of life. 

If you are a blue-stocking, wear an 
over-stocking. 

All revile the miser famishing while 
in possession of his treasure, yet how few 
of us grasp life now! 

Charity: — Giving away what you don't 
want. 

Ho for the lure of what is withheld! 
Our gods, our laws, our conventions say 
"You shan't," and a perverse and wilful 
humanity replies " I shall." 

When up the roadway of infancy tod- 
dles the father of the man he diligently 

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seeks the enticing mud-puddle that he 
may step therein with both feet. This 
youthful propensity does not desert him 
as he sets out upon the unretraceable 
highway of manhood. Overwhelming 
are the fascinations of prohibited objects; 
overpowering are the charms of doing 
all those things which he ought not to do. 
Locked doors, danger marks, chalk-lines, 
forbidden fruits, neighbours' wives, fools' 
paradises, and all spots where angels fear 
to tread are so many compelling attrac- 
tions beckoning his willing feet into in- 
eradicable mire. 

And because he has so often side- 
stepped the slipper-heel of his doting 
parent, he flatters himself he can elude 
the firm barrel-stave of implacable fate. 

On the heels of the red imp Sin creeps 
the black fury Nemesis. He is a blind 
man who steps between. 

[20] 



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Courtship: — The appetizer. 

Honeymoon: — The feast. 

Wedlock: — The stupor. 

One must always laugh at one's mis- 
takes, otherwise one could not endure 
them. 

It is astonishing how slightly civiliza- 
tion has modified man's primitive pro- 
pensity to eat his captive! 

Poor human blue-bottles! We light 
upon the axle-tree of the chariot-wheel 
of Fate, strenuously beat our impotent 
wings — and complacently remark what a 
dust we raise! 

Take no thought as to whom you shall 
marry. Marry whom you please, and 
you shall discover you have somebody 
else! 

[21] 



The Opinion Shop 



Illusions: — The title given by cynics 
to the realities of life. 

Culture's greatest office is to deaden a 
man's conceit of himself and of his coun- 
try. 

Birds of a feather flock together — after 
they find it impossible to fly with those 
of more luxuriant plumage. 

Our Moral Hero: — Not the apathetic 
anamic, devoid of desire — he is our pas- 
sionate pilgrim red-bloodedly lustful, 
who covets his neighbour s ivife, and 
burns to transgress every law in the Deca- 
logue — and does not. 

Sin's most alluring disguise: — Love. 

The modern style in Double Harness 
is loose fitting indeed — it often accommo- 
dates three abreast. 

[22] 



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Man's existence is an unconscious con- 
cealing of himself beneath the crust of 
conventional speech and action; and 
often most unknown to those who live 
closest to him is his silent mysterious soul 
with its miraculous capacity for good and 
evil. 

It is commanded that she forgive her 
enemies, but it is too much to expect a 
woman to forgive her in-laws. 

The envious poor have an erroneous 
idea of ownership. The rich realize that 
a man does not own his possessions — his 
possessions own him. 

How few grow their wing feathers be- 
fore starting out on a high flight! 

The only certainty in the world — un- 
certainty. 

[23] 



The Opinion Shop 



The old graceful art of leisure has 
passed on, and in its place we have a 
spirit of universal unrest possessing the 
souls and bodies of disturbed moderns. 
Leisure is hasty. Indolence is restless. 
We work at play in order to crowd our 
few spare moments. 

The very atmosphere throbs with ten- 
sion. Relaxation is antedated. This is 
the age of bare nerves. None know how 
to be idly indolent, quietly contempla- 
tive. There are no longer any dreamers 
in the sun. 

Those who sip many loves drink none. 

Pessimism induces a hunger for non- 
existent evils. 

The most conclusive proof that heaven 
is heaven consists in the Scripture's sol- 
emn assurance that there is no marrying 
or giving in marriage therein. 
[24] 



The Opinion Shop 



Men reign, women rule. 

As with the garden variety, so with 
Life's fruits. How exquisite they are be- 
neath red netting beyond glass windows! 
How green in the hand! 

The Eleventh Commandment: — Do it 
now. 

No man has ever been free from some 
phase of vanity. Lincoln's was his home- 
liness — as proven when he told the artist 
to paint him with his moles on. 

Love: — The peep-hole in this prison 
world through which we glimpse Para- 
dise. 

The whip of Discontent has raised 
larger welts on the back of Indolence 
than has any other force. 

[25] 



The Opinion Shop 



When lovely woman stoops to folly, 
Mrs. Grundy shoves her in. 

Hunger is humanity's dominant attri- 
bute. Everyday hunger necessitates food; 
money hunger compels work; mental 
hunger demands education; spiritual 
hunger requires religion; and the hunger 
of the heart claims love. 

The One Obsession of Masculine Man: 
— Himself. 

Most men commune with men; some 
with nature; a few with God; but none 
with themselves. 

The woman who believes her lover to 
be unlike other men understands neither 
the man nor the sex. 

Doubtless there was no Fifth Avenue 
in the naive age when the Ancients es- 
teemed beauty "the flowering of Virtue." 

[26] 



The Opinion Shop 



In their search for the fruit of the tree 
of pure love, how many have stumbled on 
the roots of the tree of knowledge! 

Religion: — A matter of geography. 

Think of the heavenly refreshment of 
having voluntary decencies instead of 
conventional shams! 

In love affairs her very constancy ulti- 
mately frustrates the good woman be- 
cause of a man's utter inability to prize 
a sure thing. The inconstancy of the less 
good woman keeps her lover in the only 
condition in which he can be kept indefi- 
nitely — guessing. 

Flattery: — False coin pauperizing 
those who accept it. 

Pink-shaded candle-rays illumine the 
wooing-time — the fierce white light that 
[27] 



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beats upon thrones is not a circumstance 
to the after-marriage calcium glare. 

Thanks be to our ego we all discover 
sufficient inferiority in our fellows with 
which to keep up our personal satisfac- 
tion. 

Platonic Love: — Passion on ice. 

What a similitude there is between the 
realities of Manhood and the fancies of 
Childhood! In the tiny playhouse are 
enacted replicas of the tragedies of the 
Great Afterward. 

Who shall say that the loss of Santa 
Claus is not more bitter than the loss of 
God? 

The final collapse of the Toys of the 
Child is not more grievous than the in- 
evitable destruction of the Playthings of 
the Man. 

[28] 




WHEN LOVELY WOMAN STOOPS TO FOLLY 



The Opinion Shop 



And as for Dolls, be they Grown-ups' 
or Children's, they all require such a 
little pinprick, when lo! Slowly, surely, 
inexorably, the sawdust exudes — Life's 
Treasures are Make-Believes. 

Epicures taste kisses slowly. 

Every individual is an instrument 
which responds and gives forth music 
only to the skilled hand that understands 
how to play upon it. 

The Flirt's Purgatory: — Matrimony. 

Like a plant that is reared in a sunless 
place, duteous love is sickly. 

Given away that they may be returned 
— compliments and kisses. 

In the most sere and hardened hearts 
there are green unfading places that only 
the Grim Reaper can wither. 
[29] 



The Opinion Shop 



The Latter-day Trinity of Feminine 
Supplicants: — Men. money, and style. 

If admission were charged to view the 
weird and awful grandeur of a storm, to 
see the gloriously beautiful fireworks of 
nature, to hear the thrilling booming of 
the orchestra of the skies — who could be 
induced to miss it? 

Those who can't are always inclined. 

No one dare speak, much less write as 
he feels. Verity is nakedness of thought, 
and in this day of sham modesty and 
hypocritical decency, even thought must 
not be nude. 

Love's quicksand is deception. 

Things about which people talk, they 
don't do. Things about which they don't 
talk, they do. 

I30] 



The Opinion Shop 



Love! What is committed in that 
name! Sin masquerades in its habili- 
ments — Lust is its twin — Coquetry is its 
nearest of kindred — a hundred counter- 
feits pass current. 

There are two classes of men — those 
who have been found out and those who 
have not. 

How few mortals touch even the hem 
of Love's garment! 

It is difficult to enjoy even one's fa- 
vourite bonne bouche at every meal. It 
is hard for wives to be as appetizing as 
sweethearts. 

Uneven roads make expert drivers. 

Every man is equipped with conscience 
plus — his neighbour with conscience 
minus. 

[31] 



The Opinion Shop 



Recipe for a Kiss: — Love, to make it 
sacred; passion, to make it sweet; long 
enough to satisfy one, yet short enough to 
leave one hungry. 

A man does not pretend to be what he 
is. 

Open confession is good for the soul — 
but bad for the reputation. 

That impelling and compelling some- 
thing which we call energy is the one 
human attribute more than all others that 
determines individual achievement, and, 
more than anything else, differentiates 
men. As is the measure of energy so is 
the measure of attainment. 

Egotism: — A one-man census. 

Rather than to regret the sin, the duty 
of repentance is to reject the recurrence. 
[32] 






I 




THE MODERN WOMAN IS A SOCIAL PROBLEM 



The Opinion Shop 



Women love — men make love. 

Castles in Spain are the only ones from 
which we cannot be ejected. 

Eve lived too soon. She had not a fair 
chance. "Thou shalt not be found out" 
(the most impressive warning in the 
Decalogue) is a strictly modern inter- 
polation. 

Reputation :—r/2fl/ which does not 

come until it is gone. 

Our spirit-life is inarticulate — all the 
syllables of Babel are unavailing for its 
expression. Soul calls unto soul in music, 
painting, and sculpture. 

There are only two crimes for women 
— fat and age. 

[33] 



The Opinion Shop 



The strength of the love of a married 
man — yet how seldom his wife suspects 
it! 

Because she is analogous to femininity 
the exquisite peach is the rightful co- 
quette of the fruits — her warm reds and 
pinky yellows are voluptuous colouring, 
and her sensuous lusciousness is amorous- 
tasting. 

If we could only begin at the end mat- 
rimony would soon be a lost art. 

Optimists are grown-up children who 
cling to their naive belief in the beautiful 
possibility of putting salt on the tail of 
an uncatchable thing. 

Music: — All the passions articulate. 

Even if the Mayflower is denied a few 
of us, we may all claim descent from the 
nautical sports in the Ark. 
[34] 



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Prejudice is the logic of Bigotry. 

Sorrows are but little black clouds in- 
tensifying the blue in our heaven of hap- 
piness. 

Counting the Cost: — The tragic sum 
in arithmetic set us by Fate. 

In Life's other games all players must 
play fair or quit. Why not in matri- 
mony? 

Your body must remain in this prison 
world, but your soul may dwell in Ely- 
sium. 

These are atheistic days — we have 
fallen upon impious times! The modern 
pagan is a firm and devout believer 
whose only unshakeable belief is in him- 
self. He is the gloriously splendid prod- 
uct of development, and when he bends 
[35] 



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the knee to the god that is in him, his 
obeisance is the sanest homage the ages 
have known. 

Amours : — Me^i's trivialities — wom- 
en's tragedies. 

What signifies a few " crow's feet " 
about the eyes as long as the mind and 
heart remain unwrinkled ? 

There is a good deal laid at Cupid's 
door that is really the work of Bacchus. 

How few individualistic individuals 
there are in the world! The average 
being is somebody else. His religion is 
that of his family; his beliefs are those 
of his country; his opinions are those of 
his favourite authors; his words are those 
of his great mentor, Conventionality. 
His whole existence is an imitation. 
[36] 



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After-a-While is a luring road leading 
to Not-at-All. 

To attain our lover's ideal of us is a 
greater incentive to self-betterment than 
any religious or ethical code. 

Why is it that he of the weak head is 
always headstrong? 

Women must always pretend to be un- 
willing — men must always pretend to be 
unaware of that fact. 

It seems such a pity that once we pos- 
sess things we can't keep on longing for 
them ! 

True faith follows on the heels of sin- 
cere scepticism. 

A few there be who suffer through 
being misunderstood. A many there be 

[37] 



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who suffer much more through being 
understood. 

Though we resent illness, how seldom 
we relish health! 

A stitch in time saves a contretemps. 

A sense of humour is man's true pal- 
liator. It leavens his daily bread. It 
flavours the tasteless dishes with which 
Fate gorges him. It is armour from 
which the blows of antagonists glance 
off unheeded; and when it is clothed by 
wit, it is a missile with which the pos- 
sessor may commit more certain depre- 
dation than can the deft manipulator of 
two-edged Damascus blades. 

The Latter-day Book of Revelations: 
— The divorce records. 
[38] 



The Opinion Shop 



To plausibly account for our lethargy 
regarding fashionable foibles and im- 
moralities we have hit on an exceedingly 
euphonious excuse — Breadth of View. 

The cucumber is rainy-tasting, remind- 
ing one of breathing soft summer show- 
ers; it has the curious flavour of atmos- 
phere. 

Pleasure divided is pleasure multi- 
plied. 

To truly cultivate is to enable one's 
mind to use its own force rather than to 
stuff it with the achievements of others. 

After-Wit: — The brilliant retorts al- 
leged to have been made at the time. 

Hymen and Cupid are an ill-assorted 
pair. They seldom travel in double har- 
ness. 

[39] 



The Opinion Shop 



Life is comprehensible if one sees the 
poverty of the rich and the richness of 
the poor. 

After the honeymoon four is company 
— two is none. 

Virtue's Safeguard: — Happiness. 

We are not so often judged by what 
we have as by what we haven't. 

Afifection kisses with the lips; Love 
with the mouth. 

Man's treasure-house is hidden so deep 
in his mystic soul that none venture down 
but timid Love and none see but the 
Blind God. 

Snobbishness: — Recency of blood. 
[40] 



The Opinion Shop 



By indulging in our propensity to 
fraternize with our own particular kind, 
we remain in a softly lit nook into which 
never penetrates the illuminating view- 
point of the world's great " other half." 

The pity of trafficking at hymeneal 
quick sales counters! Humans to be 
picked up hurriedly and cheaply are 
neither all wool nor a yard wide. 

Temptations are easier evaded than re- 
sisted. 

Why weep at the feet of Heraclitus 
when you might as easily cavort about in 
the wake of Democritus ? 

Love is omnipotent. Money is only 
potent. 

Who tries his friends has none. 
[41] 



The Opinion Shop 



Why do we labour in this world? No- 
body wants the Attainable — nobody can 
have the Unattainable. 

Marriage: — Life's most speculative 
scheme; its most hazardous game of 
chance; its riskiest lottery; its daringest 
venture into unlit night — despite all of 
ivhich egotistical humans fearlessly and 
even complacently continue to engage in 
it! 

A shocking gourmand is passion — al- 
ways self-slain by gluttony. 

Most human hearts can no more en- 
compass love than a garden fountain can 
encircle Niagara. 

When powerful Circumstances con- 
front us in our advancement in life, the 
army of men divides. A small battalion 
of vigorous and valiant souls, heedless of 
[42] 



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all detaining voices, eager to battle with 
Fortune, pushes on, wages victorious 
warfare on every obstacle, gains strength 
with each triumph, and finally emerges 
upon the glorious mountain-top of Suc- 
cess. 

The large body of vacillating weak- 
lings, heedful of restraining whispers, 
fearful to grapple with Destiny, slinks 
back, is overcome by every difficulty, 
loses vigour with each defeat, and ulti- 
mately retreats into the obscure valley of 
Mediocrity. 

Thus it is that Folly mistakes Limita- 
tion for Fate. 

Is the night before worth the morning 
after ? 

God makes the virgins; man, the 
widows; the devil, the divorcees. 

[43] 



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There is nothing like the clutch of 
Conventionality for squeezing the breath 
out of Individuality. 

The count and the countess, of course 
— but the governor and the governess! 

What an excellent discovery that 
Columbus has made who finds there is a 
limit to the interest his personal affairs 
hold for his fellows ! 

Silence is our best medium for hy- 
pocrisy, deceit, and lies. 

With thoughts as with coins — the lit- 
tlest travel the most. 

The man of genius is a prototype who 
has steadfastly built himself in strict con- 
formity to the plan of the Great De- 
signer. Of necessity he must have been 
sufficiently strong to rise above public 
[44] 



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opinion, and sufficiently brave to trans- 
gress all laws which mediocrity has 
obligingly laid down. 

Very sugary wines are cloying — so are 
overly sweet humans. 

A wise man will not argue though he 
can ; a fool cannot though he will. 

Small wonder that Orpheus is so re- 
nowned! He went to Hades to seek his 
wife — to be reunited to theirs, few men 
could be lured into heaven itself! 

Life's most beautiful thoughts are con- 
veyed to us without words. 

An ingredient that the recipe for 
genius does not demand — common sense. 

Courtship fastens our blinders on — 
wedlock snatches them off. 

[45] 



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How they are to be envied whose pride 
is centred in a bank account; whose con- 
science is given over to a clergyman ; 
whose credulity is satisfied by tradition! 
Their days are the same from the passing 
of one sun to another — theirs is the 
peaceful routine of content. 

Policy is the best honesty. 

A man may rise superior to his actions 
but not to his principles. 

Sweethearts never tire of a tete-a-tete 
— they talk only of themselves. 

Novices love well ; knowers wisely. 

Having glimpsed nature only on can- 
vases, the urban gazer becomes deeply 
impressed with the truth and beauty of 
pastoral pipe-dreams as exploited in pic- 
ture-galleries. 

[46] 



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Since we may not have what we want, 
we might as well want what we have. 

To unhorse Cupid summon Hymen. 

There is the time in the life of every 
man when he thanks God that Death is 
no will-o'-the-wisp. 

MorsLlity:— IF hat I do. 

Immorality: — What others do. 

A good reputation is the rascal's most 
valuable stock-in-trade. He invariably 
acquires it. 

To make his game exciting Cupid dips 
his dart in Stygian pools, and inoculates 
his victims with devilry. Otherwise, 
think of the deadly cloying sweetness of 
the sentimental business! The little god 
would die of ennui in a week. 
[47] 



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To know the real luxury of leisure one 
must have laboured. 

The Ideal Wife: — The bit of chimer- 
ical imagery presiding over the Other 
Man's cojfee-pot. 

Like a creeping rose vine, Love thrives 
only while it clasps a support. 

Since you are incomprehensible to 
yourself, why expect to understand 
others ? 

An optimist is the victorious captive 
of his autocratic eye which persists in 
recognizing beauty everywhere — even 
where beauty is not. 

Love, the transmuter, makes a musi- 
cian of every lover. It sets a bird to 
singing in his soul. 

[48] 



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Worriers squander their strength con- 
tending with windmills. 

An animal attacks its own reflection — 
so would man could he see his real image 
— but, mercifully, egotism has blinded 
him. 'Twould take an uncommonly 
brave individual to look into a mirror 
which he knew would faithfully portray 
his mind, heart and soul. 

Jealousy is the cruellest of all self-tor- 
turers. 

Where is the lavender in which the 
love-afifairs of our grandmothers lay for 
fifty years or so? 

If you would have a thing well done, 
get a specialist to do it for you. 

Ambition often springs from an ig- 
noble intention to outstrip others. 

[49J 



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The same crime makes a criminal of a 
poor man and a financier of a rich one. 

All deserve happiness but he who 
thinks he does. 

" The honeymoon," so called because, 
in contrast with what follows, how sweet 
it was! 

Half a loaf is better than no leisure. 

All our hurts can be soothed save the 
cruellest ones — those caused by words. 

The clever woman is always just suffi- 
ciently clever to appreciate a man's su- 
perior cleverness. Even though she in- 
dulge in mentality to an extent to enable 
her to outdo him, the wise woman will 
not allow her lover to remotely suspect 
such a possibility. 

[50] 



The Opinion Shop 



There is a deal of tragedy in life for 
unfortunates who feel. 

Love, like murder, will out. 

Marriage eliminates the real fascina- 
tion of the game of love — uncertainty. 

The greatest palaverer extant — self- 
conceit. 

" Heaven help the liars " unctuously 
murmur the cheats. 

Take note of the large deed known as 
the Holy State! Observe the omnium 
gatherum! The sheep cheek by jowl 
with the goats! Hand-in-hand with the 
tired philanderer enters the curious in- 
genue — beside innocence stalks infamy — 
with youth totters age — the knower with 
the novice — the roue with the debutante 
— grave with gay — lively with severe — 

[51] 



The Opinion Shop 



intellectuality with illiteracy — the van- 
dal with the dilettante — plebeian with 
patrician! 

Despite which hands continue to be 
upraised at the prevalency of Divorce. 

Riches equip themselves with wings. 
Poverty is unable to afford any acceler- 
ating apparatus. 

How sadly informing it would be if 
humanity went about in its real self with 
its meannesses and weaknesses worn ex- 
ternally. The wise conventions be 
thanked that such harrowing exposure is 
not permitted. 

Illusions, like soap-bubbles, the greater 
and more opalescent they are, the sooner 
destroyed. 

Deserve love, and you demand it. 
[52] 



The Opinion Shop 



Ordinarily a woman is less dependable 
than a man because the school of life 
teaches her nothing of obligation. 

It is curious that well-fed men claim 
approval when they refrain from gorg- 
ing. 

No woman is a beauty to her maid. 

The conventional, orthodox, and con- 
servative are so because of moral leth- 
argy and mental indolence. They it is 
who strengthen the bonds of traditional 
superstition; chain the limbs of free liv- 
ing men in the fetters of a dead past; 
shut out the light of progress from the 
dark places of ignorance; deny to dry 
lips the cup of truth. And all because it 
is easier to remain in a comfortable rut 
than to climb the steep hill-side of inves- 
tigation. 

[53] 



The Opinion Shop 



Folly: — Wisdom's wellspring. 

Of all maladies love is the most in- 
sidious — it diseases simultaneously the 
mind, heart, soul, and body. 

A Flatterer: — A self-appointed 
scratcher of the itches of his fellows. 

First Love: — The everlasting and sa- 
cred flower of the heart's memory. 

All love affairs are unequal. The one 
who loves most is always controlled by 
the one who loves least. 

Conciliate enmity and gain sham es- 
teem. 

We rate ability curiously. Our own 
we estimate from our attempts — that of 
others from their achievements. 

[54] 



The Opinion Shop 



A woman wins men because of her 
beauty; women, in spite of it. 

To the impure all things are impure. 

Life: — A vaudeville introducing in 
quick turn short skits in tragedy, comedy, 
and melodrama. 

Embroidering ladies stitch with the 
priceless strands of vanishing Time. 

For his every desire man barters with 
the counterfeit coinage known as words. 

How seldom Love passes a life sen- 
tence! 

Confidence shattered can never be 
made sound. 

With knowledge in the head one 
speaks wisely. Not until it is in the 
blood does one act wisely. 
[55] 



The Opinion Shop 



An Easy Pleasant Occupation: — That 
of the 771 an Tiext door. 

A taste for reading ensures pleasurable 
gratification for all the listless unoccu- 
pied hours of life. 

Great souls cannot teach. Only by 
contact with them can lesser souls ex- 
pand. 

Our reason for being — the source of 
our desires — our greatest motive power 
— our virtue and our vice — our redeemer 
and destroyer — our heaven and hell — 
Love. 

Conscience: — Your oum private an- 
athe7natizer of the sins of others. 

Love is more difficult to reanimate 
than to create. 

[56] 



The Opinion Shop 



How much more appreciative they 
would be if husbands were only wives 
for a while! 

There are two kinds of minds, the 
plain and the variegated. One of the 
rare latter variety is sufficient to lift the 
curse from several generations of the 
former. 

Existence is somnambulism until love 
awakens us to life. 

The modern woman is a social prob- 
lem. She is intelligent, accomplished, 
brilliant — better equipped for a career 
than for matrimony. Her emancipation 
has made for an unrest, a vagabondage. 
It has crowded out the maternal instinct, 
and unfitted her for the use for which 
woman is said to have been created — to 
breed for and to minister to man. 
[57] 



The Opinion Shop 



Art is long — artists " short." 

The most important part of man — all 
but his body — has been navigating aer- 
ially since the beginning of time — and 
scant notice taken of it ! 

Sacrifice and service are the gifts of 
Love. 

Long-anticipated favours are dearly 
earned. 

Who is threatened is forewarned and 
forearmed. 

Turn our mental and moral inside out- 
side — what an indecent exposure 'twould 
be! 

Temptation masquerades as opportu- 
nity, and opportunity is temptation. Dif- 
ferentiation is possible — when it is too 
late, 



The Opinion Shop 



A fool is a wise man as long as he 
keeps silence. 

One happens on a Providence incar- 
nate a dozen times a day. With God- 
like complacency he sits in judgment, 
lays down laws, and enterprisingly goes 
about regulating and manipulating his 
fellows. 

A fool and his money are dearly loved. 

'Tis better to have loved and lost than 
never to have had a lover at all. 

How happy are the artless dreamers 
who form the joyous cult of May-Be and 
Might-Have-Been, and utterly ignore 
the false gods, What-Is and What- Was I 

The nightingale sings many seasons; 
the rose blooms but one. Youth comes 
only once — to a woman. 

[59] 



The Opinion Shop 



Wealth masks a man's virtues and ex- 
poses his vices. 

When we discover Life's gems to be 
paste jewels, why blame the baubles in- 
stead of our eyesight? 

Youth: — A guess; 

Manhood: — A promise; 

Old Age: — A disappointment. 

Death is but a couch for weary way- 
farers. 

Apology: — A ruse of the detected one 
to reinstate himself. 

By far tlie most ignominious failures 
are those of the poseurs who play to the 
galleries. 

Spare the rod and spoil the guiled. 
[60] 



The Opinion Shop 



When a good man's love fails to raise 
a bad woman to his level, it drags him 
down to hers. 

In order to be very broad, one must be 
very shallow — in spots. 

All hope for life, but few live. 

He who is a failure always blames con- 
ditions — even as the man who swore that 
if he were a hatter men would have no 
heads. 

The response a beautiful woman re- 
ceives from her sex — envy, hatred, mal- 
ice, and all uncharitableness. 

There is no loss but regret makes it. 

The greatest good to the greatest num- 
ber is an acceptable maxim, since, nat- 
urally, the greatest number is " number 
one." 



[6i] 



The Opinion Shop 



He labours who would have a beauti- 
ful Garden. So must he who would 
have a beautiful Life. 

Man's God-like powers and possibil- 
ities, and those wonderful illimitable 
treasures — Soul, Mind and Heart — con- 
stitute fertile growing-plots that are 
without confines or bounds. 

From the sturdy stem of Endeavour, 
in all the perfection of their glorious 
beauty, luminous Life-Flowers are gath- 
ered by the Tireless Gardener. 

Love, like the wind, bloweth where it 
listeth, and no man can tell whence it 
Cometh or whither it goeth. 

Duty: — The obligations of others. 

Mephisto's superior intelligence is no- 
where more clearly shown than by his 

[62] 




life's treasures are make-believes 



The Opinion Shop 



elaborate care in screening Conse- 
quences. 

Those who are satisfied with little 
knowledge have none. 

The pity of the conscious self-decep- 
tion of the heart! Desperately clinging 
to a vanishing love, it deliberately de- 
ceives itself by giving ready credence to 
promises that it knows to be false. 

The Classics: — Books to be com- 
mended in public and avoided in private. 

Amorous love exists only while unsat- 
isfied. 

As well may blind men buy pictures as 
old men marry young wives. 

Persistence in being oneself makes for 
commendable individuality and con- 
ies] 



The Opinion Shop 



demnable egotism. These two go hand- 
in-hand. 

While might is seldom right, it is sel- 
domer left. 

Of the ocean, however vast, a mouse 
can drink only its full — of the great eter- 
nity, a man can have only his little share. 

Excessive breadth of view is always 
due to optical illusion. 

Temperament and talent are the mas- 
terful man's possessions. In proportion 
as he controls one and cultivates the other 
is he great or mediocre. 

If one could but stand on the corner 
and watch oneself go by! 

Happiness is perched at the top of a 
very high ladder up which we climb one 
rung and fall back two. 
[64] 



The Opinion ShoD 



Her Face Value: — The amount a 
woman pays the beauty shops. 



What adepts in the fine art of conver- 
sation we should be! The world is a 
huge conversazione in which are daily 
expressed the thoughts, opinions, and be- 
liefs of all sorts and conditions of men. 

What adepts in the fine art of living 
we should be! The world is a huge am- 
phitheatre in which are daily enacted the 
successes, failures, the tragedies, dramas, 
and comedies of the lives of the entire 
human race. 

The fact that we are blunderers signi- 
fies that the ears that hear not and the 
eyes that see not flourish now as always. 



How a man would enjoy matrimony if 
it were only a sin ! 



The Opinion ^^^^ 



kjiivyj^ 



The evil characteristics of even your 
enemy cannot make his good ones any 
less good. 

For your thought spectre attendant 
upon you in eternity's morning after, 
which do you choose — regret for oppor- 
tunities let slip, or remorse for those 
grasped ? 

To the Fates what sight so mirth-pro- 
voking as the spectacle of a proud man I 

Confidence is the source of love's con- 
tent. 

Friendship: — Any acquaintanceship in 
the pursuance of which we see profit. 

He who has no time to care for his 
health is like the engineer who has no 
time to care for his machinery. 
[66] 



The Opinion Shop 



Willingly undertaken, a task is no task. 

Retrospection: — To the fool, pleasur- 
able dwelling on fancied successes. To 
the wise, sad lessons from acknowledged 
failures. 

Plain men are jealous of their wives; 
handsome men, of other men's wives. 

When an indulgence becomes accessi- 
ble it ceases to be one. 

If one may be permitted to judge by 
the frequency of human caricatures, the 
Great Designer has an eye for the ridic- 
ulous. 

A kindergarten of good books well as- 
similated is the best preparation for the 
school of life. 

[67] 



The Opinion Shop 



How easy it would be for a man to re- 
main in love with his wife if he had only 
married somebody else! 

Though Folly can teach Wisdom, 
Wisdom cannot teach Folly. 

As a mechanician Man has his limita- 
tions — his own internal running-gear 
continues to manipulate him. 

That a philanderer is ready to " settle 
down " is a euphemism indicating the 
fact that he is depleted physically and 
morally, and is unfitted to continue as a 
disciple of the popular trinity — the 
world, the flesh, and the devil. In con- 
sequence he is prepared to bestow upon 
some very pure woman the privilege of 
ministering to his debilities. 

The Work of the Rich and the Play of 
the Poor: — Self-gratification. 
[68] 



The Opinion Shop 



A Philosopher: — One who accepts 
Fate's throws with civility, and records 
them with complacency. 

The creative wizardry of a pure love 
can fashion a new chastity from corrup- 
tion itself. 

Envy is but the rage of inferiority. 

Anticipation of remote heavens here- 
after is scarcely fair exchange for a real- 
ization of the joys of living now. 

Respectability is a doubtful asset ac- 
quired at a cost out of all proportion to 
its value. 

Not until we try to uproot it do we 
realize how deep is our love. 

The Woman a Man thoroughly En- 
joys: — She who sits at his feet, eyes up- 
[69] 



The Opinion Shop 



lifted and eloquent with the expression 
of a fortunate cat who may actually look 
at a King — Who accepts his philosophies 
with veneration — Who receives his near- 
witticisms with delight — Who assents to 
his opinions as to those of a Daniel-come- 
to-judgment — Who commends his ac- 
tions as those of omnisciency itself. 

More than any other human fear your- 
self. 

Who is over-keen on his own rights is 
no judge of others' rights. 

Pleasures in profusion cease to be 
pleasures. 

He is a doomed man who presumes to 
traffic with his destiny. 

There is not a ward heeler but knows 
he could out-Lincoln Lincoln had he that 
statesman's peculiar opportunities. 
[70] 



The Opinion Shop 



All that signifies unchangeably is what 
you are. What you have been and what 
you have done are not now condemna- 
tory. 

As polished brass has more lustre than 
unpolished gold, so showy accomplish- 
ment outshines modest wisdom. 

The only irreparable poverty is that of 
the soul. 

An Autumn Rite: — The solemn laying 
away, amid incantations regarding econ- 
omy, of a man's straw hats that they may 
be resurrected in the Spring — and throivn 
away. 

Charm by appearing charmed. 

Since man must eat of the tree of the 
knowledge of evil, can there be any sin 
in an experiment? 

[71] 



The Opinion Shop 



There is not even a family likeness, so 
pity cannot be a kin to love — more likely 
it is merely an in-law. 

Pessimism notes the cost of things 
worthless. Optimism observes the gra- 
tuitousness of things priceless. 

Cupid makes rank perjurers of even 
the most truthful. 

By divine right of the Elysian gamey- 
ness of his flavour, the mushroom is the 
sovereign of the vegetable kingdom. His 
is the most distinctly distinct of the seven 
definite savours calculated to tickle the 
cultivated palate. 

Afternoon Teas: — Mrs. Grundy's de- 
vice for the propagation of scandal. 

It is decreed that Man may eat the 
fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good 
[72] 









HOW FEW TOUCH EVEN THE HEM OF LOVIC'S GARMENT 



The Opinion Shop 



and Evil. It is a curious fact that only 
the latter variety successfully tempts his 
palate. Continual tasting and sipping, 
politely called experimentation, induce 
appetite for his own especial gratifica- 
tions. And though, when he enters the 
Garden of Pleasure, a man is an Epicure, 
when he leaves he is a Gourmand. 

Conscientious truth-tellers do vastly 
more harm than forbearing and generous 
liars. 

Man clamours for, creates, controls the 
Magdalen — and then condemns her. 

'Tis true that experience pays us a vast 
profit — but is that fair exchange for lost 
illusions ? 

To Impossibility is due the preserva- 
tion of much honour. 

[73] 



The Opinion Shop 



The ancient and time-honoured custom 
of reserving the best till the last orig- 
inated in the Garden of Eden, when the 
First Giver bestowed last upon the first 
man His best gift — Woman. 

Books and paintings are very Com- 
panionable Immortals. 

Man's greatest prodigality is of his 
most precious possession — Time. 

In so-called love affairs the standards 
of the sexes are at widest variance. Or- 
dinarily a man's conduct is guided by 
ethics; a woman's, by a consideration of 
what course will give her the greatest 
personal satisfaction. 

Her condonation of any wrong he may 
commit is in striking contrast to his con- 
tention that she must embody the true, 
the good, the beautiful. 

He, though it torture him, will cast 
[74] 



The Opinion Shop 



aside the erring woman whom he loves. 
She, though it affront her vanity, and in- 
jure her self-esteem, will cherish her 
guilty lover, because of her pleasurable 
gratification in him. 

Woman idealizes love, man idealizes 
woman. 

Small talk is a ruse to hide mental de- 
ficiency. 

The great glory of our life is the poten- 
tiality of all desirable things. 

Only to-day is mine; to-morrow is 
Fate's. 

Twas a shocking expose of the rascal- 
ity in fruit when the first apple ruined 
the first pair ! 

To-morrow: — The day upon which we 
overtake happiness, meet a truthful hu- 

[75] 



The Opinion Shop 



man, find a faithful friend; the day when 
the lazy labourer and the fools reflect. 

Considering that faces are bulletin 
boards, it is astonishing how often we are 
misread. 

Love at first sight is minus second 
sight. 

Speaking of wives — though a man 
must perforce take unto himself a gen- 
eral utility nag, it does not follow that he 
ceases to appreciate the points, or to 
covet the possession of speeders and high- 
steppers. 

Duty dissuades inclination only when 
inclination is slight. 

Subtle humans are like crabs. Who 
knows whether they are coming or 
going? 

[76] 



The Opinion Shop 



The bold manipulator of a small brain 
is judged to be more learned than the 
modest possessor of a large one. 

The Heart's Religion: — Love. 

Some rare beauties have a quality of 
expression that may be called linguistic. 
Its loveliness is so easily translated, and 
its spirituality so universally recognized, 
that it ravishes the eyes of people of 
every country, class, and condition. 

Ah, the brief and unctuous self-confi- 
dence of the few who have not yet been 
found out! 

Many a gratification is to be had by 
utilizing a bad reputation. 

Too many broths spoil the cook. 

Over Man's head are the occupiers of 
the world's upstairs — The Powers that 

[77] 



The Opinion Shop 



Be. Whether these Deities are fates or 
furies, angels or demons, gods or devils, 
we are quite unaware. However, that 
they in their Omnipotency may snuff us 
out over-night, we are quite well aware. 
Despite this observe us! We prance with 
cock-sure strut; we lift up our voices 
raucously; we flaunt ourselves generally! 
Mark you, we are but vainglorious Ban- 
tams deliberately tempting Hawks. 

Love tastes, Lust devours. 

Wit: — The illuminating shaft of light- 
ning that flashes from the sky of wisdom. 

Human aptitude was not long in show- 
ing itself — our first parents were not slow 
in finding the apple. 

We get what we want if we want it 
enough. 

[78] 



The Opinion Shop 



Hobby-horses unseat us more disas- 
trously than does the animate species. 

The Essence of Love: — Passion. 

The fool is made by nature, the bore 
by himself, the philanderer by women. 

By the extent of his belief in the uni- 
versality of stupidity a man's own stu- 
pidity can best be judged. 

Hymen: — The large severe god so 
often mistaken for the little lively one. 

If we could only lift up the lid in peo- 
ple's heads and watch the wheels go 
round! 

Disgraced persons are those who are 
indiscreet in the management of their 
foibles. 

[79] 



The Opinion Shop 



A woman does not relinquish one man 
until she secures another. 

Strip a man of the conventional dom- 
ino in which he masquerades through 
life, and he will be as unrecognizable to 
himself as to his friends. 

Until a lover possesses he is a slave; 
after, he is a despot. 

Repentance: — A loud, eloquent prayer 
that we side-step justice. 

The iniquity peculiar to two is always 
expiated by one — the woman. 

What a gratifying process it is to turn 
our magnifying glasses on the frailties 
of our neighbour! Our firmness is shown 
as his obstinacy; our justice, his revenge; 
our caution, his cowardice; our self-re- 
spect, his pride; our economy, his parsi- 
[80] 



The Opinion Shop 



mony; our wit, his malice; our fancies, 
his falsehoods; our suggestions, his sus- 
picions. 

Strange metamorphosis — our virtues 
are his vices! 

Leap before you look or you won't 
dare leap at all. 

Flattery, so often accepted as the ver- 
dict of discernment, is more frequently 
the conversational refuge of dullness. 

Unrepentant man has three equally 
joyous periods of his gratification — an- 
ticipation, realization, and retrospection. 

If you lack appreciation of the garden 
variety of humans, try to love an exotic. 
The experiment will make you wiser, 
also sadder. 

It is very curious that vice is affected 
by so many poseurs. 

[8i] 



The Opinion Shop 



The fine art of the gourmet has created 
a vast and mighty horde of devout dis- 
ciples of gastronomy. To them a per- 
fectly appointed table is alluring indoor 
scenery which appeals more loudly and 
is accorded more response than is the 
most exquisitely aesthetic bit of nature. 

It is odd that we refer to it as the 
virgin forest when it harbours so many 
fallen trees. 

Ants have nothing to fear from hawks. 

Why not look at your life-mate as at 
any other bargain in which you have 
foolishly indulged yourself? Try to keep 
your attention riveted upon any slight 
good qualities, and in this way you may 
overlook the flaws. 

No runner can win unless he tries, no 
matter how swift he may be. 
[82] 



The Opinion Shop 



The antecedents of the artists were 
Phoebus the colourist, and Luna the 
sculptor moon-goddess. 

Phoebus, from his magic palette, gilds 
ruddy day with fleeting tints alike befit- 
ting the wing of the butterfly and the 
Venetian sunset. 

Luna, with her fairy chisel, creates 
night's mystic forms, and with her wan 
moonbeams bathes the world in lights 
and shadows alike enhancing the loveli- 
ness of the rose and the majesty of the 
mountain. 

The true perception of these wondrous 
beauty-miracles exists only in the soul of 
artistic genius. 

Vanity: — A strong weakling which 
everything injures and nothing kills. 

The less one knows how the better one 
loves. 

[83] 



The Opinion Shop 



How few people have an inner holy of 
holies, or, having one, ever enter in! 

Even the fool is important three times 
in his life — when he is born, when he 
marries, and when he dies. 

A man must not be held guiltless be- 
cause he has resisted temptations which 
have no lure for him. He is to be com- 
mended only after he has been tempted 
numerously and variously by those par- 
ticular evils that make direct appeal to 
his peculiar weaknesses. 

Heaven on Earth: — Reciprocal love. 

The monied fool has a flatteringly long 
waiting list of friends. 

Faith, honour, love, and all life's 
precious treasures are Humpty Dumptys 
— once they have a great fall, all the 

[84] 



The Opinion Shop 



King's horses and all the King's men can- 
not put them together again. 

Who can take a truthful inventory of 
himself? 

Youth, like the angels, we entertain 
unawares; after it is gone we know we 
have had it. 

Kisses: — Duty's are time-saving, the 
light butterfly variety. Passions are 
time-obliterating, leisurely, long-drawn- 
out, they only begin and end with the 
lips. 

More to escape intimacy with himself 
than for the love of his fellows a man 
seeks companionship. 

When Mephisto's records begin to lack 
spice, he orders some beautiful women 
to be created. 

[85] 



The Opinion Shop 



Love's Nutriment: — Abstinence. 

The ecstatic Springtide incites an 
amazingly vital emotional response in 
us. We feel it where we live. It gets 
into our blood. It is a race-memory 
which always intoxicates us. 

The first Spring and the first Man! 
He knew nothing of the seasons, nor of 
what horror might follow on the heels of 
his first dark, dismaying Winter. The 
sun grew cold, the night long. The earth 
was stricken barren, and all vegetation 
passed away. Then, unexpected, the 
primordial April dawned ! The air 
grew warm; the daylight lingered. Sap 
ran in the dry trees; grass sprang green, 
and flowers budded. 

The remembrance of that primitive 
human rejoicing and that sublime first 
festival of Nature shall always live in the 
soul of man. 

[86] 



The Opinion Shop 



There is a tomb in each man's being in 
which he lays away his dead — his hopes 
and illusions, and, saddest of all, his 
youth. 

Logic enables men to theorize about 
things. Intuition enables women to 
know about things. 

The grub who fancies himself a butter- 
fly exploits his limitations at the first 
flight. 

Women's Fates: — Men. 

Women's Misfortunes: — Other Men. 

Not until life's cashing-in time comes 
does man regret or cease the prodigality 
with which he ventures his chips. 

For growth trees must have space, and 
souls must have seclusion. 

[87] 



The Opinion Shop 



How foolish we all seem to one an- 
other ! The men to the women; the 
women to the men ; the old to the young; 
the young to the old; the children to the 
grown-ups — and, most of all, the grown- 
ups to the children ! 



Human experience tells us that the 
Great Highway of Life is a cul-de-sac; 
Hope optimistically differs and insinu- 
ates that there is a tiny opening, just suf- 
ficiently large for man's soul to escape 
into the Beyond. But human experience 
knows nothing of a Beyond — all that it 
recognizes as real and concrete is the 
Great Highway and the Great Highway- 
man — Death. 

So, then, is it not the part of wisdom 
to empty your coffers into your life, in- 
dulge yourself, ease the inevitable tra- 
vail, and filch the joys of living with the 
[88] 



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greater zest because they are snatched 
from the irresistible Assassin? 

Eat, drink, and be merry — Apres mot, 
le deluge! 

Coquetry is the caricature of love. 

On the site of the Delectable Isle of 
To-morrow, Hope builds our Chateaux 
en Espagne. Blessed be Hope — she 
makes us all Utopians. 

In the game of hide and seek known 
as Love, the proper procedure is seek be- 
fore marriage, and hide after. 

Temptation is the pleasurable antici- 
pation that is proverbially greater than 
the realization. 

Indiscriminate truth-tellers are shock- 
ingly lacking in imagination. 

Marry at leisure and repent in haste. 
[89I 



The Opinion Shop 



We have tender sympathy for distorted 
bodies, but for minds and hearts marred 
in the making we display an inhuman 
antipathy. 

Our Clergy's Favourite Game of 
Chance : — Marriage. 

After a decade or two of nimble hop, 
skip, and jump to Fate's Fiddle, we 
Marionettes are inclined to question the 
theory of Self Government. 

A good man is not necessarily a Good 
Fellow. 

The Twin Attendants of Success: — 
Intuition and Attention. 

Love is a germ of the germs destruc- 
tive. Its Metchnikoff is Matrimony. 

Pearls are the souls of dead Fairies. 

[90] 



The Opinion Shop 



We are no more born into the world 
with balanced interiors than with bal- 
anced exteriors. Symmetrical souls are 
as rare as Grecian noses. 

Among women imitation is the sin- 
cerest form of envy. 

The Constant Lovers there be! The 
constantly loving rather than the loving 
constantly variety — once out of love they 
must needs fall in ! The astonishing 
prevalency of these Deuterogamists 
proves the persistency of the triumph of 
Hope over Experience. 

In obstreperous youth one beats one's 
head against stout walls. In acquiescent 
Middle Age one is a Necessitarian. 

The sodden desperation of a dull mar- 
riage ! Two Micawbers heavily waiting 
for something — or somebody — to turn up. 

[91] 



The Opinion Shop 



Now-a-days Marriage is a reasonably 
sure stepping-stone to divorce. 

Close the door to non-essentials — 
otherwise essentials cannot enter. 

All ye who are heavy laden pray to 
your especial Joss for the large sense of 
humour that induces you to laugh at the 
momentarily tragical phases in the far- 
cical play we call Life. 

The rank and file of humanity belong 
to the Ancient Order of Put-It-Off. 
They are utterly ousted by a small su- 
perior known as Do-It-Now. 

Love and marriage are obviously two 
very dififerent things — yet the credulous 
are constantly confusing them. 

Women who fascinate men are invari- 
ably looked on with suspicion by women 
who fail to fascinate men. 
[92] 



The Opinion Shop 



Huckleberry Finn has great vogue 
now-a-days. His simple cult teaches 
how delightful it is comfortably to sin 
with the uncertainty of being damned, 
and how futile it is to miserably remain 
virtuous with the certainty of suffering. 

A woman never truly adores until she 
gives all — a man never truly adores after. 

Think of the glorious Inexhaustibility 
of the greatest thing in the world — Hap- 
piness ! The more you give the more 
you have. 

It is quite as well that we are misun- 
derstood. It saves us the necessity of in- 
venting excuses. 

The real danger of discussion is not the 
probability of convincing your opponent 
— it is the possibility of convincing your- 
self. 

[93] 



The Opinion Shop 



This decade has brought us many 
catchwords — true signs of the times. We 
have Soul-Mates, Affinities, Alienators, 
Co-respondents. We are regarded with 
the normality of abnormality, and the 
abnormality of normality. Tempera- 
ment is a threat — when not a promise. 
We have the over-sexed and the under- 
sexed, the erotic and the neurotic. All 
Types pro Tem. — yet no latter day 
amorous chronicle would be complete 
without them. 

To save yourself from your punish- 
ment is not to save yourself from your sin. 

Our desires are premonitions of our 
tendencies. 

We all have faculties and powers; 
Mediocrity neglects them. Superiority 
tends them. 

[94] 



JUH \2 1813 






iLS,?"^ °^ CONGRESS 



018 378 016 5 



